need another drink. this is the easiest way
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
