You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
