dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
Girls should come with a carfax report
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
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