you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
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