you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Randomize
