im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
I have aggressive nipples.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
