I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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