Me too!
I'm eating all of the evidence.
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
Randomize
