i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
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