The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize
