maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Randomize
