dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
