It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
Randomize
