come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Randomize
