my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
Randomize
