How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Randomize
