He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize
