I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Randomize
