everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
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