I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
Randomize
