Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Randomize
