If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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