I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
A+ Viking dick
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
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