My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
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