She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
