Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
