Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Randomize
