His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
