Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
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