he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
nutella sex= disaster
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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