At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
Randomize
