Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
That reminds me...we need to get swords
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Randomize
