we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
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