Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
