Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
Randomize
