Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
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