He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
