And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Randomize
