It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
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