i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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