She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
Randomize
