just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
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