Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
