We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
