No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Randomize
