i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
I need to stop coming to work sober
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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