I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
