The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Randomize
