I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
I am spending my child support on dildos
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
then he tried to convert me to islam
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
Randomize
