i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Randomize
