in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
The adults are the big ones right?
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
