He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical�
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
Randomize
